Saturday, April 27, 2013

Feeling Motivated

It's been a few months since I've looked at it, but today, I decided to use my down time to work on the 1st chapter of my second draft of one of the books I'm working on. I'm very pleased with it, so far, and am hoping to make time to work on it over the next couple months to complete my second draft for my friend to edit.

I'm wanting to start taking my writing more seriously. I have a few other first drafts hiding around my house, that I'd like my friend to look at. Those ones are for smaller books. Once their polished up and ready, I plan to add my own illustrations to them. I do hope to publish them someday. Preferably someday soon.

I'm also planning to start up my crafting again and hopefully earn some income from that pursuit. I've got some ideas brewing in my mind and heart, and pray that they will come out at least somewhat close to what I am envisioning.

Resting has been very good for my body, and I plan to continue doing as much of it as possible over the rest of these next few weeks. Although tomorrow, I'm hoping to make it to Blessing #3's very first game. I'm so excited to see him play.

Blessing #5 has been doing great and is already more and more awake, observant, and strong. I'm trying to take as much in as I can. I know all too quickly, he'll be more and more active and eventually all grown up. Blessing #1 isn't all grown up, yet, but there are certainly days when I feel like she is and like I'm so close to losing her. I'm definitely the George Banks in my marriage. (Father of the Bride)

I'm not looking forward to my husband going back to work at the end of his paternity leave. For one, I really think Blessing #4 is going to have a melt down. He has been every time his daddy goes somewhere without him, this week. I know he'll get over it, but it still breaks my heart. My husband has a great job and he is awesome at it. For the most part, he is pretty happy and that does make me happy. I'd still rather have him home, though. Sometimes it's hard doing what has to be done. I'm just thankful that he does get paternity leave and pray that it will be a smooth return to the usual routine, for all of us.

Thursday, April 25, 2013


Almost 2 weeks ago Blessing #5 made his lightening speed entrance into this world. It was a wonderful birth and a pretty easy labor, as I trusted in the Lord to be my strength and allowed myself to receive the contractions instead of fighting against them.

I will admit that I did experience some fear. Fear that I didn't have what it took. What it took to make it through the labor and give birth. Fear that I didn't have what it took to be a good mother to all my blessings, especially since I wasn't feeling like I was doing that great before. Fear that my body would fall apart even more than it had the last birth, where I'd ended up with a grade 2 cystocele. I had worked hard in physical therapy and had just finished it when I got pregnant. A lot of thoughts went through my mind, but I managed to turn from them and focus on God's word and pray. I honestly believe prayer is what got me through labor this time and through it so quickly. That and the wonderful team I had with me. They only became involved as necessary and let me do the rest.Two midwives and Blessing #2 got to witness the arrival of Blessing #5. Even my husband was doing everything he could to support me and send positive loving energy my way, though he missed the actual arrival while taking care of Blessing #4. Blessing #5 arrived almost immediately after my water popped. I did manage to listen to my body and the currents of energy flowing through me, and only pushed when my body insisted. In fact I really had no time to not push. The midwives commented how they had enough time to say "Oh! The baby is here!" That's how quickly he came.

We spent the first week of his life hanging out on the couch on the main floor of our home. The day after that I decided to brave the stairs and go to my own bed. Good idea, since I've been getting better rest up here. Monday and Tuesday I decided to be up and down the stairs and carrying my little guy around. Not a good idea. I'd almost stopped bleeding after that first week, but by the end of Monday it was back with avengance. Not so bad that I needed to see someone about it, but still unpleasant. Yesterday, I decided it was important to rest, as frustrating as that is when I feel like I'm superwoman and should be up and about by now and going on with life. I've spent all of today, pretty much, in bed as well. Once again the bleeding is slowing down and I'm starting to feel human again. I decided to look up postpartum rest, as I felt like I'm either getting old (I'm about to turn 31. I know not really old.) or that maybe my body is just kaput. God knew what I needed to remember and to know, as the first thing I came across was this blog at The Leaky Boob.  I think every woman about to have a baby or who has just had a baby in our get up and go society needs to read this and be reminded that we just went through a process of something amazing and we deserve to take time to heal, that we might heal properly. So far, my prolapse doesn't seem to be any worse than it was pre-pregnancy. I may have a slight diastasis, but I do feel as though my body is healing in ways it never had a chance to before as I've always gotten up and gotten back to the daily grind within days of giving birth. So for now, I plan to do what I can to rest and enjoy this time snuggling with my newest blessing, because all too soon it will be over.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Update of My Week

I haven't been posting lately because I haven't known what to write. Our days have mostly been the same lately.

I haven't wanted to go anywhere. Although I did take Blessing #2 to her softball practice Thursday and nearly got in an accident and I don't know if I just wasn't paying as much attention as I thought or if the other person wasn't. Maybe neither of us were.

The other day I decided that I would take the whole month off from trying to structure the kids days and educations the way that I have been. The girls have their syllabi and can come to me with questions, but it will be up to them to make sure they take care of their work.

Yesterday, I got fed up with all the clutter in our house. I started in their room, which I've been on them about cleaning for a month now, and I threw out pretty much everything that was on the floor and took away any clothes left in laundry baskets. With my husband backing me up, I was finally able to get my 3 older ones to actually help clean up around the house. I hope he saw the benefit of the team work between us and in getting the kids to be more responsible.

I'm not due til Tuesday, but I keep hoping today will be the day. It doesn't help that for the last month people have acted like I should be having the baby and doing countdowns and stuff. I've always passed my due date and I know this and I've told people this. This is why I try so hard not to tell people when I'm due. By the time I reach my "due date" I feel like I'm late because for the past month people have been anticipating the baby. For all I know, I have another week or so left, yet I keep hoping this one will actually come sooner. I hope that with all of them though. I should be enjoying the time I have left with my other blessings as just a 4 pack, before baby arrives. Instead I feel like I'm going to be pregnant forever and that I just want to have this baby already!