Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Another Sleepless Night

In the stillness of the night, as my family lay sleeping, I am once again left wide awake. This time, I don't feel my mind racing, as it often does. Instead, it is hungry for inspiration. Inspiration for my family, my home, my talents.

Over a decade ago I started a story and trashed it. When I took the adventure, of NaNoWriMo, a few years ago, I found the story returned to me with a new design and a new plan. Over these years, I have slowly added bits and pieces to it. I have a vision and a desire for it, but am lacking in motivation and prioritization, which is true for too many things in my life. Yet, my desire is to complete it. The task is overwhelming and tedious. I've never been great with details, however, all I have right now are bits of bones and flesh.

I quickly side track myself with all the busy work I can. After all, my house will never truly be clean, there will always be something else that "has" to get done "right now". This fickle mind can't seem to decide where it's focus should be. Following through is certainly not one of my strengths. My thoughts often wander from family and home, to finances and work, to all the things I love to do and all the reasons I'm too afraid to do them. Round and round, my thoughts twist and spin, never reaching a destination or conclusion.

So, here I sit, in the earliest, darkest part of the morning, staring blankly, awaiting inspiration and creativity, allowing my thoughts to fade and clear the way for the juices to start flowing once again. 

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